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Florist: “Gay stereotypes are the most painful.”

Me: “Story of my life.”

Florist: “Oh my god! I totally know someone you should meet!”

(she must not be aware that trying to set me up with another gay man shortly after learning I’m gay is stereotypical)

Me: Oh no, that’s okay. I’m not looking for a boyfriend!”

Florist: “Oh really? Mikey’s such a sweet guy. Everyone loves him!”

Me: “(awkward chuckle) It’s fine, really. I’m too busy to see a guy anyway.”

Florist: “Oh okay! That’s fine! Mikey went for coffee with this guy he met online,”

Me: “Oh?”

Florist: “and it turns out that the guy was homeless!”

Me: “That’s awkward!”

Florist: “Yeah, Mikey always has bad luck with meeting men. You seem really nice.”

Me: “(awkward chuckle) I’m horrible with relationships.”

(I am amazing at relationships. I am the perfect boyfriend)

Florist: “…oh.”

Me: “But I appreciate you trying! I’m flattered.”

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